It’s so easy to get caught up in fantasizing about Benjamin — the PERFECT Benjamin. We all are just so sure that Benjamin could do no wrong, and that if we were to be in a relationship with him it would be pure heaven, twenty-four-seven. A real fairy tale!
Perfect Benjamin was the kind of guy whose breath never stunk (even though he smoked) and who always looked sexy in whatever he was wearing and whose hair was always photo-shoot perfect. Even if he had bed head it was totally adorable and never oily. And he never had gunk in his eyes or dried drool on the side of his mouth in the mornings.
Perfect Benjamin always told you how he could never get enough of you and he shared all his thoughts with you and he was always planning surprises for you because he lived to please you. He was completely selfless in bed and loved to hold your hand and run his fingers through your hair and he was so easy to talk to because he actually listened. He was endlessly romantic with his flowers, music, candles.
Sure, Perfect Benjamin was a man’s man but he let everyone know that you were his woman and that you came first. He resisted all other girls and wasn’t even tempted because he was so crazy in love with you and he would never jeopardize your relationship. He didn’t like to dance but he would if you wanted to, and he never failed to open a door for you.
He would cook yummy things for you and take you to Hawaii for two months at a time and he didn’t care if you couldn’t sing, he still wanted you to belt it out with him on road trips. He never left his dirty clothes on the floor, toothpaste in the sink, or gross dishes on the counter. He was always funny, always sensitive and always sexy. Right?
Nope. He was a man. A real man, flawed and falling short all the time, as we all do. Like every other man alive.
I’m sure he was infuriating, insensitive, and too internally focused at times. He had his quirky little behaviors that would make you want to tear your hair out. He probably had a few unreasonable pet peeves that you had to put up with, and it was difficult to see him flirt with all of this lady fans, which you knew was part of his job but it made you a little insecure, anyway.
At times he was quiet and remote and wouldn’t really be able or willing to tell you why. You wished he would stop smoking, or at least take it outside. You just didn’t think the Three Stooges were really all that funny so no, you don’t want to watch it yet again. And if he doesn’t put that toilet seat down, I swear… !!!
Because Real Benjamin was *not* perfect. We know that he was beautiful, kind, generous, funny, attentive, talented; so sexy, adorably nerdy, sweetly awkward and genuinely humble… but not all the time. NOT perfect. It’s just not possible.
Of course, knowing this in my head does not stop me from thinking that I would have loved to have the opportunity to find out about all of those imperfections. And somehow that reality makes him more perfect to me in my twisted little fantasy world. I’m sure I could have made it work between us. I would have been the Perfect SPJ to his Real Benjamin and it would have been a match made in heaven. Hahaha!
There is no cure; I’m totally, unreasonably obsessed. 🙂