In other words:

FIGURE 19.3
Photo from the book Let’s Go! Benjamin Orr and The Cars by Joe Milliken

“The time with Ben before and while he was ill were some of the most important, exciting, life- and spiritual-expanding moments I’ve ever shared with anyone. Ben taught us so much about life, in the way he went through the process of cancer treatment and in day-to-day life. He was also an absolutely fantastic father to his son, and loved him more than he ever loved anyone.” — Julie Snider-Mennie, Let’s Go! Benjamin Orr and The Cars, page 192

28 thoughts on “In other words:

  1. I remember reading this with tears running down my face the night I read the wonderful biography by Joe Milliken Let’s Go! Benjamin Orr and The Cars. Julie’s words moved me so much and touched my soul. How I wish they would have had more time together and that Benjamin was still alive today. I read the biography in one go, got not put it down #LetsGo indeed and have re read it many times and look for passages to re read and reference points. Thank you for sharing this dearest Donna, it reminds us all, I believe to never take life and our loved ones for granted. I bought a lovely timber sign today that simply said LIVE. Because sometimes we get so busy, caught up in things ( in my case pain, physical and also lately grief) and do not simply LIVE and of course the most important thing is to be grateful. I also feel we should tell the people who make us happy or who do something we enjoy or do something nice for us, thank you. Thank you dearest Donna , from my whole heart I am grateful I have met you through your wonderful blog and Facebook page and Podcasts and through #LetsGo and our mutual love and respect for Benjamin. You have brightened my life with your kind thoughtful words, your sense of humour and I just wanted to let you know this. With love and hugs from Tasmania, Tia xx

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    1. Oh Tia! Thank you so very much! Your words move me to tears, and you are SO right — we need to LIVE with a grateful heart, and not be shy about telling others they make a difference in our lives. You are such a sweet encourager and a lovely,
      kind-hearted friend. I’m so glad Ben brought us together! ❤

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      1. Thank you so much dearest Donna, what kind words ❤ I was reading this with tears in my eyes ❤ . How wonderful is it that Ben is bringing people together almost 20 years after he passed away ? His soul was so beautiful as his music and he was and here he is still somehow touching people's lives and even influencing them in a wonderful way. What a legacy to leave behind ❤ I am so grateful to have you as a friend in my life Donna ❤ BTW today was a special day for me as not only The Cars Deluxe Edition arrived ( so worth it, I would have bought it just for Wake Me Up but I loved all the other extra songs ❤ ) and also Heartbeat City DVD and the B Bomb has gone off even harder in my heart. I did not realize there were all these extra little bits of Benjamin inbetween songs. OMG, what an incredible charisma and what a beautiful man he was. I am watching this tonight with my husband and will try my very hardest not to gush too much ( imossiible but I will try 😉 )

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  2. Dearest Donna, yes, that’s exactly how I feel , I hope to never come to the end of him as well. I also have pondered deeply about what it is about him that gets a such an enormous hold of us and won’t let us go?

    I feel it is certainly is not just his impossibly beautiful looks but his personality that shines through so much, his charisma, his wit and humour, his truly incredible sense of style and of course by all accounts his kindness and warmth. His incredible voice , his talent, he really was one of those rare human beings that had it all in one package ❤ I watch him and am mesmerised and happy. Lots of love, hugs, Tia xx

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      1. Dear Donna, I sometimes think the fact that he had some faults , making him very human, also makes him so endearing. And perhaps any faults he had because he was a sensitive person, made him also such a great musician.<3

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  3. Sorry, I should never type when I have had little sleep, you can always tell my English is my second language when I am in pain and tired. I meant to say, the fact that Benjamin was not perfect , makes him human and therefore in my eyes more endearing. And also that sensitive people do have mood swings and I guess react more to changes and feel greater sadness and all this sensitivity and depth perhaps made him such great musician. Hope this makes more sense 🙂 Hugs, Tia 🙂

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  4. Hello Donna, Yours is a marvellous site, you are so generous with the information you share, and must say I especially love that you shared what Julie wrote, it gives a wonderful insight into the depth of character of Ben, so generous of her to share this. I recently wrote on another ‘Ben site’: –
    “I love this site, but find it so heartbreaking. I think Ben was at his most beautiful on the day of the Live Aid concert , and he seemed so happy – things should have continued to be great for this sublimely talented man. He seemed to have been a steadfastly loyal friend, but didn’t receive that same loyalty when needed. Devastating. And later of course, and so hideously unfair, getting a dire diagnosis at a time when he seemed to have found happiness again, with a new woman, a great new band in Big People, and more importantly than anything, a son, the treasured joy of his life. It is sometimes hard to make sense of things. So sorry to be this morbid, because I do find the site uplifting as well, with the wonderful information, photos and videos of the exquisite Ben.”
    How bittersweet all of this is, I only wish he had known how many people held and still hold him in the highest esteem.
    You are wonderful, keep up the good work.
    Patricia x
    P.S. Are you the fan who asked Joe Milliken to do the book? It had to be someone like you – a generous heart.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. So great to meet you, Patricia! Thank you for your kind words. Ben did indeed seem to be on top of the world at Live Aid, in all areas of his life. ❤ No, it wasn't me who suggested the book; I met Joe at the beginning of 2016 and he was well into the project at that point. 🙂

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  5. Thank you so much also for this site ❤ I have completely indulged myself in it since discovering it just a week or so ago. Ben was such a beautiful and mesmerizing guy, all the intricate details of his moves and facial expressions, everything about him so gorgeous. I'm taking time to admire him in everything that I can read or find or listen to and watch about him on this wonderful site here and on YouTube. His bravery of basically performing to the end of his life, such dedication and devotion. I'm endlessly content and can't get enough of finding out all I can about him and the wonderful way I feel staying stuck in the beauty, inside and out, that is Ben Orr ❤

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    1. Hi Paula! Thank you so much for making a connection. I’m so glad you found my site. You will find that so many of us have discovered ourselves entirely and irreversibly caught up in Ben, with little logic behind it and certainly no cure. I hope to never come to the end of him. Welcome! ❤

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      1. Well said dearest Donna ❤ Although I think for me the logic in being so irreversibly caught up in all things relating to Benjamin is that he simply was the most Orrsome of all musicians and performers 😀 and so it follows that we cannot resist this and there is no cure 🙂 There are so many reasons as to why I think he was irresistibly watchable on all of his performances and of course his kindness also has a lot to do with that magic of that charisma and timeless way he draws in his fans, his bravery and perhaps also the fact that he still remained somehow an enigma regardless of how much we try and read and try to find out and solve all the puzzles 🙂 .
        The B Bomb has gone off and may there never be a cure 🙂
        Warmest regards from sunny Tasmania,

        Tia ❤

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      2. Yes indeed no cure ever wanted ❤ I'm watching a particular DYKWIFL he sang in 1997 where he's wearing a bold print short sleeved shirt and the wind is blowing his beautiful hair and precious Ben is singing the song so heart felt, so sad looking, humble and beautiful, very deep in thought over every word, I love being lost in rediscovering everything I can about him as I dive deeper and deeper with ears and eyes perched to not miss a thing ❤

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    2. Paula – I think you could put Ben’s picture next to the dictionary definition of “charismatic”, he really had something unique about him, that incredible voice so capable of purverying so many feelings, and I think he set a beautiful example of facing something terrible with grace and dignity. I mean I’m sure there were plenty of hard moments but it’s still situations like that which show what someone is truly made of, in their hearts and I think, weighed against the white feather of Ma’at, his would not have been found wanting. (Ancient Egyptian but I’ve always thought lovely imagery)

      I’ve reached the point where I’ve gotten through the easy to find stuff(and discovered after years of not joining facebook because I hate it, finding out facebook hates me and won’t let me join LOL) so I’ve reached the stage of just wishing I could find more and getting more “obsessed” with finding answers to those little “lose ends”. It’s kind of funny instead of trailing off, now I’m just more interested in the bits that are less to find answers:) Have you read Joe Milliken’s Ben bio yet? It’s a great read, if not.

      I’ve also watched that windy performance you mention as well, I really enjoyed coming across those clips. It’s a great show and he looks like he’s having good time. Sometimes in the comments on youtube someone will comment on his having gained some weight at that point in time, but I don’t know, maybe it’s all that wind blowing through his hair, I find him pretty sexy in that performance. 🙂

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      1. Awwww yes MG, did I tell you I did make it to Thompson, Ohio to visit Ben’s resting place a few weeks ago and did a 2 part video of it and I put it on youtube under my name. It was the most extraordinary and awesome thing I’ve ever done. By not being able to actually get any closer or see him, it did give me a satisfaction to reach that destination and of knowing the “precious others” that have made that pilgrimage there. Oh and I went by the RRHOF in Cleveland too afterwards, that was a huuuge thrill as well knowing Ben had been inducted in 2018, it was all around just an absolute thrill and I was able to purchase The Lace cd there too!!! I’ve also ordered the Let’s Go book by Joe Milliken and excitingly waiting for it to get here now, I can’t wait to read Julie’s words over and over again. I’m forever thankful to Donna for all the research for this site, I loove it sooo much!!! Yes, as many of us do, we get older and gain some weight, things change that are hard to get back where they were lol, Ben’s looks were and are timeless at every aspect of his life, absolutely Beautiful ❤

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  6. Well said Donna and Tia, you have both been marvellous – Donna, in introducing/reintroducing us to the supremely talented and beautiful Benjamin, and Tia in celebrating him in wonderful ways. We are now all caught up in this delicious, if also achingly sad, addiction. May it long continue.
    Best wishes,
    Patricia xx

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you dearest Patricia ❤
      I was so grateful when I discovered Donna's wonderful blog, I never forget the moment I first saw it and realized how much I had forward to in reading and browsing 😀 so thank you also once again to Donna 🙂 ❤
      I hope to be able to celebrate beautiful Benjamin's legacy for a long time , it is such a rewarding experience and I am grateful to all the lovely fans I get to write to or meet ❤ and thank you all for your support. And as you said, may our achingly sad ( yet also incredibly rewarding) addiction long continue ❤
      Tia xxx

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Thank you Tia for everything and aren’t we lucky to have happened upon our sweetpurplejune.
        And yes, here’s to our forever addiction to the beautiful Benjamin.
        As always, best wishes,
        Patricia xx

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