Yes, you’re too hot… but please stop.

Okay, I can’t put off writing about it anymore. It is the elephant in the room. Well, you know… the elephant in the room in my head that is filled with Benjamin.

If you’ve spent any amount of time on this blog you know that I am head-over-heels, crazy in love with Benjamin, completely immersed in his legacy, and totally obsessed with his life. Nothing he did will ever change that. And you might think that *I* would think that every little thing he did is sheer perfection. And for the most part, every little thing he did is perfect… but there’s this one thing.

This one thing that he did. It makes my cheeks burn with embarrassment.

It’s the video for “Too Hot to Stop.” I can’t STAND it.

There. I said it.

Before you decide to hate me at least hear me out!

Benjamin in black leather? Yes! And you can’t unzip that jacket far enough, buddy. That Hawaiian tan? Bring it on. Cameos by David and Greg? Supportive friends warm my heart. The song is great and I gleefully listen to it over and over. But please…

Someone PLEASE give my man a guitar!!!

I’m just going to lay it all out here. Benjamin, bless his heart, certainly seems to be giving it his best shot… but he looks SO uncomfortable in this. His makeup is awful. His Neil Diamond dance moves are painful to watch. The lip-synching is a disaster. And I feel like I can tell pretty much every point where they stopped filming and Someone said, “how about you dance like this” and “why don’t you move over this way” and “try throwing your arms up” and “now give us the smoldering look.” At no time does he look to me like he’s truly enjoying himself.

Up until I decided to write this review I had only watched this video twice. You can imagine my expectations the first time I clicked ‘play’, can’t you? Can’t you??? Well, it was like a sucker punch. I couldn’t have been more dismayed if he had come out with his head shaved and wearing Steven Tyler’s tights.

I wanted to love it so much! It’s BENJAMIN, for crying out loud! I watched it a second time, thinking that maybe it would move into that grace-filled category of “it’s so bad, it’s funny and I love it” – but no, just more trauma. And in spite of my dear friend Jen’s attempts to get me to give it another go, I just couldn’t do it. I refused to pull it from the corner where I had shoved it, deep in the back of my mind, and managed to ignore it for a while… and yet here I am. I can’t seem to let it go.

Now come on. Think back to every performance you’ve ever seen of Benjamin Orr — and I’m talking about before this video *and* after.  That cool demeanor, those sensual facial expressions… how he could define ‘rock star’ just by standing there, working that bass or guitar and mesmerizing you with his voice, and then turn your knees to noodles with his brilliant smile. This persona fit him perfectly; he was in his element. It was obvious that he was comfortable there; I believe it came very naturally to him.

The Benjamin Orr of the 2H2S video is just *not* him. It seems like a parody, a joke.  Whose idea was this? Please don’t tell me it was the 80s and that’s what everybody did. This was Someone’s concept *for* Benjamin but not *about* Benjamin; it was Someone trying to push a rock star peg into a cheesy hole. It was Someone trying to make my man into something he wasn’t.

But I will say this for him, he was a gamer. However uncomfortable he may have been he pushed through and made it happen; made Someone’s dream come true. And yes, I’m definitely convinced that this was NOT his idea… because he just looks SO wrong.

I read an article from The Boston Herald, dated January 24, 1987, about the making of the 2H2S video. Most of the column inches are spent talking about the complex state-of-the-art lighting used for the ‘futuristic’ backdrop on the set. There is one quote from Benjamin; he says this: “My only idea was to have the video have something to do with outer space. That’s what seems to capture attention the most these days, so I wanted to see if we could go out there for a while — or at least fool the camera into thinking we had.”

My darling, nerdy, love-of-my-life, I wish you had been a just little more opinionated as to how this was all going to play out…

Not sure I can really find my usual little tidbits to gush about. Certainly that smile at 3:30 melts my heart. I know we all adore Benjamin, and I accept that not everyone feels the same way about the 2H2S video as I do, so I’ll let you watch and add your own heartthrob moments in the comments. Maybe you can point out something wonderful that I missed.