It reminds me of him.

This beautiful song has been a favorite of mine for many years, but today it is reminding me of how Benjamin’s voice, music, and image have provided an escape for me during this crazy time of sheltering at home and trying to keep my loved ones safe and healthy from COVID-19. ❤

“I close my eyes then I drift away

Into the magic night, I softly say

A silent prayer like dreamers do

Then I fall asleep to dream my dreams of you


In dreams I walk with you, in dreams I talk to you

In dreams you’re mine all of the time

We’re together in dreams, in dreams”

— Roy Orbison, “In Dreams”

It reminds me of him.

273cf0b5359327e0feef28812a51d1a7“I was (and still am) aware of the good fortune that hard work has brought me. I don’t want to seem ungrateful. I also genuinely like people. I want to get to know them in a real way. I am bummed out at the concept that someone just wants a scribble from you, when it’s clear they’ve never seen your work, they just know you’re ‘famous.’

“I began to feel a counterintuitive, melancholy loneliness and even low-grade anger at these moments. I didn’t like the way it made me feel when a passing car full of teenage girls screeched to a halt, emptying the crazed occupants, who bull-rushed me, pointing, screaming, and laughing. Years later, someone will call this phenomenon ‘objectification.’ Then, I didn’t really know that I was being treated like an object. I did, however, begin to treat some people the way they treated me.”

— Rob Lowe, Stories I Only Tell My Friends

It reminds me of him.

I’ve been dancing on top of cars and stumbling out of bars
I follow you through the dark, can’t get enough
You’re the medicine and the pain, the tattoo inside my brain
And, baby, you know it’s obvious

I’m a sucker for you

You say the word and I’ll go anywhere blindly
I’m a sucker for you, yeah
Any road you take, you know that you’ll find me

I’m a sucker for all the subliminal things
No one knows about you (about you) about you (about you)
And you’re making the typical me break my typical rules
It’s true… I’m a sucker for you

— Jonas Brothers, “Sucker”

It reminds me of him.

This whole song makes me reflect on Ben’s later years, and brings to mind pieces of the mosaic like the band’s break up, his romantic relationships, his musical direction… and how he might have coped with all of that. I do believe that he was strongly loved during those hard years; I only hope he recognized it and took it to heart.


“Most were being good for goodness’ sake but you wouldn’t pantomime

You are more beautiful when you awake than most are in a lifetime

Through the haze that is my memory, well,

You stayed for drama though you’d paid for a comedy

I know I can be colorful, I know I can be gray

I know this loser’s living fortunate and I know you will love me either way”

— The Verve Pipe, “Colorful”